


The One About Amelia's Complicated Relationship With Pregnancy Tests and Link Who Is New To That

by maryloveswords



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Canon Universe, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Good guys know that, No uterus - no opinion, Pregnancy Scares, Workplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-06-25 12:47:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19746061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryloveswords/pseuds/maryloveswords
Summary: Events take place after 15x25.Amelia is still open to possibilities and it still includes Link but they didn't go any feather. At this day Amelia had a reason to feel all her feelings in especially big way.Her emotional baggage and deep trauma are about to meet with Link's stress-free nature, will this meeting be pleasent?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story intentionally has a lot more Amelia's pov than Link's because it's a story about woman. It focused on feelings, struggles, worries woman faces when she has a pregnancy scare. But I believe Link play a good role in it and this situation shows all the amazing beauty I see in this ship.
> 
> English is not my native language so sorry for mistakes.

This surgery was hard. Not "you need to achieve the impossible" kind of hard. But "you didn't sleep in 25 hours, you feel like crap and there is still at least 2 hours to go". And the worst of it? The patient.   
" He really fell of a roof" Amelia almost yelled. "On a skate. He tried to impressed a girl by doing a thing. On a roof. With the skate. What level of stupidity is that?"   
She really was annoyed that instead of sleeping (and she really-really needed that sleep) she was spending time doing pretty boring stuff on a pretty stupid patient.   
"Didn't we all do stupid things at this age?" Link was in a good mood like always. "I think you told me something about trip you took with a complete stranger at 17. Very stupid if you ask me". 

Her teens was really not something Amelia liked to remember. Too many people consider their duty to remind her of all her mistakes. But somehow Link said it the way that didn't feel wrong, maybe because she knew he wasn't judging. 

"I was high. What his excuse?" she responded jokingly.   
"He's just an idiot" suddenly interfered Helm.

Amelia and Link looked at each other. Sometimes they genuinely forgot that it's not just them in the or. Their sex was really good. But it's not only physical stuff that made sex so good, it's their work together: insane surgeries, plans they worked on and risks they took together, their research that was interesting and inspiring, their trips to other Fox foundation hospitals where they perform mini miracles. And their talks during all of that helped them through sometimes intensity, sometimes (like today) boredom. And after that... Oh after that they had insanely good sex that took away all pressure pasted day had, celebrated their success or helped them through pain of loss. So even full OR felt like kind of intimate place, something like coach where couple talk and flirt before moving to bedroom or party where two people met and exchange looks, and it was strange to feel their conversation being interrupted. But today Amelia was not in a mood for brain sex anyway. She was in a mood to be alone in her room sleeping in so comfortable and not so sexy pajamas. 

"I was into girl once. Sang her a song at the middle of the night under her windows. Thought it would be romantic but her father called the police. You should've seen my mother's face when she picked me up from police station at 2 am" Link saw that Amelia is not all right and tried to make her smile. 

"A least you didn't end up with 8 fractures and spine injury" Amelia responded. Link's attempt to better her mood certainly didn't work.

She liked Link. Mer and Maggie thought it's just sex but she genuinely liked him. His softness, his open mind, the way he made her feel seen and accepted but there was one thing that annoyed the hell out of her. His desire to see only good and hope for the best. It was charming at first. Like why wouldn't we hope for new foundings instead of stressing out for no reason when Bailey is meeting with the bunch of people in suits? But then there were other situations... Like this one where a teenager, a kid practically, was laying on their table with his spine open, with broken bones, with severe pain he will be feeling in a couple hours. In the best case scenario he was looking for long recovery. 3 months at least. Probably 6.And if it's not best... She didn't even want to think about it. Amelia's hands was in his spine, her unfortunate move could paralyze him. "It's not the same as serenade, Link" she thought " it's really not the same". His mother, very nice woman who raise this boy alone is praying in a church right now. Freaking out. Afraid that her son wouldn't be able to walk again. And all of that could be avoided if a boy wouldn't have this insanely stupid Idea in his hormonal teenage head.

This things were scary for Amelia. Every kid on her table was scary for her. Especially today. There was no way to soften it and seeing Link trying to do it only gave her thought that maybe even guy as accepting as Link is will never be able to understand her. 

"Can I close?" it was Helm again. Amelia was done with a spine. No nerve damage. Guy was lucky. Everything looked good. 

"Please do" Link looked at Amelia to see if she has any objections. They both went to scrub room.

"See? It's not that bad. Bill will be dancing in 3 months. But I bet he got a girl" started Link again with his big smile on a pretty face.  
Amelia rolled his eyes. 

"God Atticus 15 years old kid almost die for no reason. There is nothing good here. Stop looking for it. Stop looking for rainbows and unicorns everywhere, sometimes it's just darkness and bats" she yelled with her eyes wide open. 

Link stayed silent for a solid minute. He debated whether or not he should mention that he finds bats adorable but decided to keep it to himself. They scrubbed out. It's not the first time she yelled at him. He wasn't offended, he knew that she's overemotional and sometimes overdramatic. One day Amelia served whole angsty speech over the fact that he left his brush at her place. It really was accident but before Atticus had a chance to explain she already told him he's pushing too hard. But today it was different, like something was not right. It felt like she had a reason and wasn't overreacting. 

"Amelia, I know it's not about me" he said when she was about to exit the room.   
"We need to update his mother" she said coldly after done hesitation. 

Mrs Dalmonm was scared. Link as always was kind and supportive, with his firm smile he tried to convince this woman that her son is off the woods. Mother tried not to cry, she wasn't convinced, she was still terrified. Amelia felt the need to step up. 

"It's OK" she said. "Kids, they do it to us, right? They have no fear, they don't understand how scary it is for us, how dangerous it is for them" .   
Mrs Dalmonm started crying. Amelia hugged her.   
"This accident was awful. But he will be fine. It's over now, the scariest part is over. It will be difficult and painful. But he will be fine. You can see him now" . 

Link enjoyed looking at Amelia in moments like this, something in him wanted to grab her and protect her from the world but what was the most attractive in her is that he knew she doesn't need his protection, she is just fine without him or Owen or any man. They went to the attending lounge in silent.  
-  
"Sometimes people don't give a crap about rainbows Link" Amelia said finally. Emotional as always. "Sometimes they just want someone to feel for them because stupid unexpected rain ruined their planes". 

Link didn't say anything. He was pretty sure he acted like he always does but today with this kid Amelia was especially sensitive to everything he's saying. 

"Amelia do you worry about Leo? Is what it is about? You afraid that he will be this guy who do something risky and stupid? " He really tried to understand why she was so not herself (or especially herself?) today. It wasn't just sleep, he knew. And she knew this as well. Should she say him? Now? Later? After she will know for sure?   
She didn't respond. 

" Do you want to eat? I have a tuna sandwich" he gave up trying and decided to change topic. "Jo mads it for me. Cooking is part of her routine. It's excellent".  
He came closer to Amelia. 

" Please try it".  
"God go away" she suddenly became quiet rude and went to opposite part of a room.   
"Amelia, it's getting ridiculous. What did I do? Can you use words to explain please".  
Amelia looked at him. She open her mouth to say something, then changed her mind. She sat at sofa quietly. 

"I feel..." she started after some hesitations.   
"Scared? Amelia I get it you are practically Leo's mother,seeing someone's kid get hurt can be scary. Why are taking it out on me? ".  
"... nauseous".   
Link was confused. 

"Atticus I feel nauseous. Don't get close to me with mouth full of fish please" she finally explained.  
"Are you sick? Are you nervous after surgery?... Or...? "  
Amelia took a deep breath.   
" I don't know. I know that I am nauseous and..." She stopped for a second. "... and I am late. And it's exactly how it was last time I was pregnant".


	2. Chapter 2

The moment Amelia told him she felt relieved. She was nervous about it whole day. Whole long day without any sleep. And than kid with his stupid board added to her already thriving anxiety. She didn't have to hold it to herself anymore. She took a deep breath. 

Link didn't say a word. He put away his sandwich and sat close. He didn't know what to say. There was a lot to process. He tried to hug her.

"Tuna!" Amelia reminded.  
"I am sorry,I am sorry" he said quickly and took a step back. "So you... You didn't do a test?"  
He seems very calm and neutral, it was impossible to say what he was thinking.  
"No... I didn't want to go into surgery with the news. In case... you know... It's positive".  
"Yeah right. Um... You want to do this now?"  
"I think I need a minute".  
"Of course" Link took her hand. "Look Amelia..."  
" Please don't" she stopped him mid sentence. "I know what you're gonna say. Please don't."

She thought she knew. It was Link. Guy who was so incredibly good he could easily be showed on exhibition as a example of good guys. Women could point finger on him and tell their daughters to find guy like him. He was that good. Loyal. Kind. Supportive. He saw only best parts in her even though he knew she has a lot questionable qualities.  
Amelia thought she knew what he's gonna say. That he's all in. That it's gonna be good. And if it isn't false alarm their baby will be great. He may even propose. Owen would've definitely done that. Link could too. He's family guy. Super close with his mother. Loves his nephews with his whole heart and buys them ridiculously expensive gifts that drive his brother crazy. Of course he would want this baby, he would say this big speech.

And she didn't want to hear it, for her... Even word "baby" gave her anxiety. It triggered her. It sent her back into this day when she was all alone newly sober in LA still mourning Ryan and was terrified to look at the test. She remembered how it ended. The pain of loosing her unicorn baby was still real. And there are always cases that reminded her that it could happen again. Even if her baby will be fine. It can get sick once it's born. It can take unfortunate fall in the park, it can get hit by a car, it can get cancer and even if none of it will happen her child can be stupid enough to impress their crush doing tricks on a roof. All these thoughts were just too much. And it was real, she saw this happening every day. She didn't want to hear a speech about how it's all gonna be fine because she knew that nobody can promise that. Her life was prove of why Link's theory about good and rotten apples doesn't work. 

After Leo and Betty Amelia was open to a possibility to have a child of her own again one day. But she thought if it'll happen it will be fully planned. She never had sex without condoms for that reason. Not after Ryan. Never. She stopped the most romantic and intense moments because she was super careful. She wanted to be in control. Something she didn't have back in LA in her first year of sobriety. Something she didn't have in her first year of marriage when tumor didn't allow her to think straight. She wanted control and now it looked like it was possible that she didn't have it despite doing everything right. Again. It was frustrating. Terrifying. Unfair. 

But she learned her lesson from relationship with Owen. She didn't want to run and boil in her feelings alone this time. 

"You gonna say that you're all in, right ?" she asked with a sad smile.  
"Um... Yeah" Link sounded surprised.  
"I know" Amelia said. "I just... Had a complicated history with pregnancy tests. I need a moment. I probably shouldn't have said anything before I knew for sure..."  
" No, no Amelia it's all right. You don't have to..." Link started to reassure Amelia but was interrupted.  
"Hey, can you give a consult please".  
It was Hunt.  
"We are in the middle of something, Dr Hunt."  
"Is everything ok?" asked Owen.  
"We're in the middle of something, Dr Hunt" Link was annoyed.  
"It's kinda urgent".  
"So urgent that you took stairs instead of paging 911?"

Link can't help himself. Owen was exactly last person he wanted to see right now. Their relationship with Amelia was so complicated and he saw how affected she was by it. She couldn't move on and never see him again because of Leo and seeing him brings a lot of different feelings for her to deal with.

Link made up his mind about Owen months ago at the day of massive overdose. Right after Amelia was crying in a hall for what felt like an hour he saw Owen drinking coffee 20 meters from there. That was it, since then Link felt no need to change this opinion. 

"Amelia, I really prefer your consult on my patient" Owen ignored Link completely. "Unless you're sick..."  
Link looked at Amelia.  
"It's possible that I am" Amelia answered. "I really need a sleep. I am sorry, Owen" she turned to Link. "Can you take care of Dalmounm? Call me if there are any updates".  
" Of course. You call me if... You know... There are any updates" Link said carefully.  
Amelia nodded and gave him tired smile. 

"Is she ok?" Owen asked when she exited the room.  
Link sighed.  
"No. No, she's not".


	3. Chapter 3

"What are you doing here?"  
It was evening. Amelia slept the whole day, she didn't feel even remotely better not physically, not mentally. She wasn't ready to take the test and she certainly wasn't expected Link to visit her at Mer's house. She was so not ready to continue this conversation. She wasn't ready in general. For anything. 

"My shift is over. Our guy is ok, Helm will keep an eye on him overnight"  
He started but then noticed her surprised face.   
"You didn't expect me to sleep peacefully after our conversation, did you?" Link had a point here.  
"I don't know yet" she said quietly.   
"Don't you want to find out?"  
Here we go. Now she needs to explain why it's so difficult to her, that her anxiety jumps up when she even take a test in her hands? 

"Just listen to me" Link said before Amelia even said anything. "Let's do our thing".  
" What thing?"  
"Our thing. When you're being you, all emotional and I am being me and give you some reasonable things to think about". Link looked at her kindly. "Then you usually do your thing anyway but at least with a cool head" he added. 

Amelia sighed. She wish he knew that he couldn't possibly calm her down now. Link sat at her bed. 

"Just listen. I've been thinking. We always were careful, right?"  
She nodded.   
"But condoms break" her pessimism added.   
"But ours didn't. And even if we turns out to be in this precents mentioned on the box who condom didn't protect... You're not exactly 25..."

It was something Amelia definitely didn't expect to hear.   
"Is it supposed to make me feel better?" she threw pillow in his face. 

He throw it back. They laughed for a few seconds. These unexpected smiles made room lighter. It feels like them again. 

"It should actually" Link continued, "You are the hottest 40 something I have ever met but age does matter for reproductive system, lets be real. So what's the possibility of you at your age getting pregnant from protected sex? Plus..."   
"What?"  
"Please don't ask me how I know it but my sperm count is not really great".  
"How do you know it?" she asked automatically in a typical Amelia style.   
Link gave her the look.   
" My point is. We're using condoms, you are in your 40-s,my guys are not champs. Either this pregnancy is a miracle or..."  
"It's not a pregnancy".  
She was wrong. He managed to calm her down a bit. 

"Do the test, Amelia. There is probably nothing to worry about. I don't know what it is that makes you so terrified about nausea and delay..."  
Amelia sighed and looked away.   
"... And I don't need to know of you're not ready to share" Atticus added quickly when he noticed her reaction . "But it's probably just your stomach. And all these worries are for nothing" .  
She did feel a bit better. Link indeed was a great balance for emotional mess she was. 

"Look I am not forcing you to do anything, Amelia. I just... You're torturing yourself. It's hard to look at you like that".  
"I really do have complicated relationship with pregnancy tests".   
"Does your relationship with blood tests better? Ultrasound? Vaginal exam?"  
"You're so relaxed. It could be pregnancy you know. Have you met Teddy and little Allison? She's older than me and got pregnant from one night stand".

Link sighed.   
"Then it'll be another conversation. Now you're just afraid of something that doesn't even happen yet".   
He had a point. Of course he had a point. It's Link. He always calm and knows what's right. And he was right.   
"I'll set up an appointment tomorrow " Amelia said not lightly.   
" You want me there?" he asked.   
"If you promise me something".   
"Listening".   
"No "I told you so" if it's negative. No big speeches if it's positive".   
"Oh you mean I shouldn't bring my mother's ring?" said Link with hilariously serious face.   
Another pillow flew to Link's face.  
"Now when you smile I will go home and sleep peacefully" he said and went to the door. 

She looked at him. He came back and hugged her. 

"He probably think I am crazy" Amelia thought. "Of course he think I am crazy he needed to pretend to be my husband. Why he's even still here?"   
With Owen it was obvious, he's equally messed up and got the crazy part of her. James didn't really knew her that much, he knew in theory but he never saw the dark part, he was so perfect that Amelia needed to constantly tip toe around his painless soul. And Link knew. Amelia never pretended. He saw her crying in a hall, he saw her on a conference being a mess over Betty, he saw her at her sister's house. Oh Lord she really didn't want to remember that. He was so soft and warm. Always. It was antidepressing to even look at him. Amelia expected "it's gonna be fine" but Link was hugging her without any words.

"It's so load in here" he broke their silence. "Do you want to go to my place so you can rest in quiet?"   
"I am immune by now" she smiled. "But maybe you should stay and spend some time around baby noise. You are too calm about all this, it's annoying".  
Wow. She really just joked about kids, didn't she? 

They laughed and he went home.   
It was evening. Kids were already asleep. Mer was out. Amelia went to Maggie's room.   
"Hey!"  
"Hey" Maggie put medical journal away. "What are you doing here? Don't you have perfectly fit man in your bedroom?"   
"He went home".   
You two are quick tonight" she laughed. "Feel like sharing dirty details?" 

Sweet Maggie. Amelia loved her so much. Maggie was definition of unconditional love that Amelia struggled her whole life with. She wish she could talk to her. Maggie would definitely support, stroke her hair, let her cry on her shoulder. But how? How you can say to Maggie who's biggest tragedy was her mother's death in her mid 30-s what she went through only couple years before they met? No, Amelia wanted to protect her from all this pain. That's probably what Derek talked about back after the shooting. "I don't want you to know that pain exists". Amelia didn't want Maggie to know. If Maggie was late she'd already do the test, set up an appointment, check her hormones. Because she didn't know about dark part of it,she is not afraid. And thank God for that. Amelia hoped Maggie would never know. 

" Nah I'll keep it to myself" Amelia tried to say it in her usual playful manner.   
So she went to her room alone. Link somehow gave her piece of his calmness and now she actually could think about it. Not just be scared or terrified of the worst case scenarios but think. Go through all what if. What if it's pregnancy? What if one of pain management sessions with guy who she knew for couple months and who she doesn't even date ended up in pregnancy. What'd she do? There was a lot to think about.


	4. 4

"Do we have time to check on our patient before?" 

Link broke the silence in the car. It was morning. He picked her up from Meredith's place and she didn't say a word after "good morning". Amelia was all in her thoughts and that was so not her because usually she commented on pretty much everything she saw, yelled at stupid drivers and discussed how color of someone's car reflects their personality.

"Depends on a traffic I guess" she gave him a tired smile.

At this point it was obvious for Link that something big stayed behind her fear of all of that. 

"Do you want to talk? " he asked carefully. 

" About? "

" All of this. The situation". 

Amelia sighed. She stayed up all night because her thoughts took away her sleep. She thought through every possible scenario and it gave her feeling she was prepared but still she really didn't want to talk about possibilities because it they were not that real while they are just in her head. 

"Didn't you say yourself that there is nothing to talk about yet? "

" Ok" Link nodded.

"But we had to talk about this car" he added pointing out in the window. 

"Oh my God" Amelia smiled. She never saw car that ugly.

"You know one time kids drew and Bailey first took all bright colors. Ellis created the mess out of dark ones. Mer freaked out when she saw this. It really seemed worrisome without context". 

Link was happy with change of atmosphere in the car.

"It's ugly but you can go full year without spending time on washing. Nobody would notice dirt. In Seattle it's actually relevant. Rain always ruins my clean car" he said. 

"Yeah I really miss LA's weather" Amelia became nostalgic. "Addison had house on the beach and we used to swim naked at night". She smiled playfully. 

"Why did you moved away? If I had life somewhere so sunny I wouldn't want to go anywhere " Link asked. 

Amelia freezed. How much should she tell now? 

" A lot of bad things happened there" she said carefully. "I came to Seattle to see Derek and realized I want a clean slate" 

Link looked at her silently asking for details but quickly realized she wasn't ready to give any. 

They were in a hospital. Quick check on their patient. Nice recovery. Ob/gyn flow. Amelia was nervous. She looked at Link. Ironically he was wearing the same shirt he was in when they first got together. She ripped one button trying to take his clothes off and saw him sewing it by himself later. That night she didn't know what was more impressive: his perfectly fit body, admirable attention to important details in her body or his ability to fix his own clothes. He knew that hotel number has a kit with needle and some strings and just did it. 

Her curiosity was obvious and he started to tell her stories about his mother who made him fix and iron his own clothes since he was 8. They talked and laughed and then went back to bed and all this felt so incredibly safe like all problems disappeared for that night. He always gives her this feeling. Maybe it is what added another layer to her anxiety these days - he was a person who she went to get away with all her problems and now she couldn't. 

Link caught her sight. 

"Amelia, are we going?"

"I think I need to say you something "

Link looked at her. 

" We're gonna go and I am gonna lay in the this chair and doctor is gonna ask questions and " she paused for a few seconds. "You gonna hear my medical history... "

" And you don't want me to know that because... ? " Link interrupted. 

" I was pregnant before. And it ended very-very painful and I don't really want to talk about it but you should know now so you won't be having this face when I am gonna talk with doctor about it"

She said all this surprisingly calm and gave Link a smile. He was confused. 

" Yep. This face" she added.

Link opened his mouth to say something. 

"It's ok, really" Amelia didn't give him a chance.

Amelia held herself pretty good and managed to stay calm but near the GYN office her heart started beating faster. That's it. You open this door and get in this chair and there everything can change. You can walk away with life changes you will have to deal with. It was a lot. Just this door was a lot. 

Link opened it and gave doctor Miller a hand shake. 

"You're ready? " Link asked helping her through take off her jacket. 

She nodded. 

Miller was asking routine questions and prepping to do an exam. Amelia was laying on the chair with more and more panicking thoughts in her head. And Link... Link didn't know what to do with himself and was looking at office. There were pictures of babies. "Kinda pressuring" he thought but cute tweens unintentionally made him smile. Amelia caught this smile and her panic escalated. She thought for a second that maybe it was a big mistake to bring Link with her. He is smiling at babies kind of guy and now it really wasn't the time to get excited over it. She wasn't in the mood to get excited over it. 

"Can you stop please" Amelia asked. Link looked at her and the same moment understood her worries. 

"Amelia... "

" I just want you remind you what we agree on" 

"Amelia... " Link really wanted to finish his sentence. 

" Amelia, are you ready? " this time it was Miller. 

Amelia nodded. 

" No, can you give us a minute please " Link asked. 

" Atticus! " Amelia was really not in the mood. 

" I am sorry I have really tired schedule for today. I would appreciate if we start"

"No" Amelia noticed a while ago Link never let go of something he really needed. 

Doctor Miller exited the room with unsatisfying expression on his face. 

"You always interrupt me mid sentence, it has to stop... " Link started. 

"Are seriously want to do this now? " Amelia almost yelled. 

"You did it again! "

Amelia was ready to yell at him but shut her mouth and waved hand inviting him to talk. 

" I was going to say to you tomorrow that I am... "

" You're in, I know Atticus I know it, I know, " keeping her mouth close was difficult task for her, especially in moments like this. Link gave her the look. 

"Yes, I was going to say that I am in, Amelia, but it's not what you think" the look of annoyance with her interruptions on his face changed to softness. "I wanted to say that I am in no matter what it is and no matter what you will decide to do. Okay? You look at me like I am gonna run to buy crib right out of this office but, Amelia, it's not who I am... I mean... I can if you want me to but if you don't I am still in. We are gonna do what you want and how you want. And I am with you on this, okay? No matter what. Don't worry about me, about what I think. I am here for you. Just let me in because I... I don't know how to help and I want to. I really want to" he finished and was waiting for reply but this time Amelia didn't have words. 

"You did" she said quietly and gave him her hand. Link smiled back with relief. 

"We really shouldn't hold Miller any longer. I am ready. You? "

Link kissed her forehead. 

"I am gonna get him". 

_________________________________  
"You can say it" Amelia said to Link with a smile when they were waiting for the elevator. 

"I promised not to. I'll keep my promise" 

"You can though. You told me so. You were right"

" I was right. But it's ok to freak out over those things, you know. I did too"

Amelia was surprised. "You did? Wow you're really good at hiding your feelings".

"Just a little but I did yeah. And I don't..." He stopped. 

"... have a dead baby? "Amelia finished for him. 

" I am really sorry" Atticus looked her in the eyes. She did a step forward. He hugged her.

His shirt. This feeling like she's safe. She felt this again. 

"Amelia, you can talk to me, you know, right? I don't say you have to. But you can". Amelia looked at him.

"Yeah, I know now".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry the end of this story came after such a long time. I started it during vacation and for a long time didn't have time to finish. It was my first experience in writing fiction in language that is not my native so don't judge too hard, I struggled with my limited vocabulary but wanted to write something for Amelia and Link too much. I would be happy if those of you who enjoyed reading could leave your comments.


End file.
